Don't try this at home

The headline immediately caught my eye. Unlike pitches from male potency drugs and right-wing radicals, this e-mail seemed worth a look.

According to CareerBuilder’s survey of employers, 2011’s “most outrageous” excuses employees gave for not coming into work included a job interview with another firm (I’m not making this up) and my personal favorite: A fox stole a woman’s car keys.

We all know you can’t trust foxes. They are wiley, crafty, prone to sneakiness. Foxes also catch you off guard. The Fox River is prone to flooding in the spring. Redd Fox was forever scheming on old television show “Sanford & Son.” And actress Meagan Fox ... well, she’s a “fox.”
 
According to a new CareerBuilder study. Sixteen percent of workers reported they arrive late to work once a week or more, up from 15 percent last year. Twenty-seven percent of workers arrive late to work at least once a month, up from 26 percent last year.

Traffic (31 percent), lack of sleep (18 percent), bad weather (11 percent) and getting kids to school/daycare (8 percent) are the top reasons given for late arrivals at the office. Other common reasons for tardiness included public transportation delays, pets, spouses, watching TV and using the Internet.

Some of the most outrageous excuses for tardiness, provided by hiring managers, included: Cat had the hiccups, thought she won the lottery (She didn’t), got distracted watching the Today Show (With Al Roker?), an angry roommate cut the cord to his phone charger so his alarm failed to go off, no intention of starting work before 9 a.m. (His start time was 8 a.m.) and two that later proved to be true: The employee’s leg was trapped between a subway car and the platform, and the employee had to take a personal call from the governor.

If that governor was named Quinn, that explains the lack of action.

The nationwide survey was conducted between Nov. 9 and Dec. 5, 2011 by Harris Interactive, among more than 7,000 U.S. workers and 3,000 employers across industries and company sizes. CareerBuilder reminds those of us out there who have been in Rip Van Winkle stupor, or doing battle with a cunning critter such as a fox (don’t even get me started on racoons or squirrrels), to arrive at work on time.

More than a third of employers (34 percent) said they have fired an employee for being late, so synchronize those watches.

– Kurt Begalka